I felt some kinda way today when I saw a woman I know post a video of her beautiful home with a view. So let me break it down for real. I have worked since I was 13, put myself through college while taking my 2 sons with me to night classes. I have accomplished so much, owned 3 homes and truly am so proud of being able to say I don’t need a man. I love my husband of 30 years but certainly would be a ok without him. This woman since i have met her has looked for ONLY men with money who could take care of her so she could just be cute with no job. And there have been lots. My question is how can you be proud when nothing you have belongs to you? Maybe I’m different but if I drive a Hyundai I paid for it is better than a benz that dude can yank at anytime.
I have learned so much about an rv in the last month, I thought I would share the adventure Hooking up the truck to the camper is the hardest thing, first you have to back right up to the hitch connector and wait for the clamp to engage. Once this is done we have to pull it out of our steep ass driveway, hitch grinding the entire time into the street so we can get level enough to put on the stabilizer bars. These damn things scare the crap out of me so I simply stand back and watch. You have to put the trailer tongue down to take the weight off the truck then put on these steel bars in with a pry bar that makes a loud noise when on, good lord. Oh then there is two chain connectors that attach to the truck and the power supply for the lights to work. I’m tired just talking about it even though after the 3rd time we did the whole process in under 10 minutes.
On our first trip we learned that you need atleast a 4000 watt generator after we lost all power, oh n check your battery connectors to make sure they are all hooked up, another lesson as ours weren’t. Locate the gfi before you leave just in case it gets tripped you know where to find it, its in our bathroom, who knew.
The great part is we get to sleep in our own bed, no one bothers us, and we get to go to great places. The pictures below were taken at Mt Hood.
Today I attended my CPR/first aid certification course. I arrived and a man with a keg beer belly and long white hair was in the back of the room, also a participant. I being friendly Fran spoke to this ass hat and asked him where he worked in our organization. He informed me he is a crew chief for one of our offender work crews. Ok I am passionate about rehabilitation and second chances so I engaged in a very brief conversation.
What the hell, this dude in 3 minutes asked how long I worked for our company. When I replied that I relocated from Idaho. The first thing out of his mouth was how could I move from such a beautiful state with such wonderful Trumpster conservatives. Ugh that’s exactly the reason I moved to get away from the bigots I watched treat non white and LGBTQ like shit my entire life.
It got worse, he refused to participate in the CPR portion of the course and sat for 4 hours doing absolutely nothing other than watching us. He stated he was only interested in the first aid portion of the course. What?
The point of this post is to demonstrate the quality of people we have working with men trying to rebuild their lives. I cannot imagine how he treats the work crew participants and know for certain in just 3 minutes it is horrible. We have to identify and stop allowing people like this man to have any power or influence with anyone coming out of the criminal justice system.
My best friend is the beauty guru and her lashes are amazing. I have gone and had lash extensions that made me crazy because I felt like I couldn’t wash my face, my issue but I have to wash off mascara.
So a few weeks ago my girl brought over lashes and schooled me on how to put them in easily. Ha right this is a lie, big fat lie. She showed me in like 5 minutes just glue, place, etc. I was going to a party, it took me 5 tries, a tube of glue and a whole lot of laughing but got them on.
I’m sure this is easy if you put lashes on daily but for me this was hilarious and difficult. I love them but good lord help me….
I must say I never thought I would be impacted by addiction but it has smacked me in the face full on. My oldest son who has always been the strong athlete is sitting in rehab getting well. As a college athlete he was given every opioid available to keep him on the field and now he is repairing the damage. I am thankful he is alive and the man he is meant to be has emerged. He has gained 60 lbs of muscle and is not only physically but mentally healthy it is truly amazing. I never knew how horrible the addiction was but am grateful my son has found his purpose. We never understand the struggle or circumstances until god reveals them and he is on his way to a great great great future
I received this picture today from a young lady who I have known since she was little. I don’t remember taking this but I was pregnant with my youngest son who is now 23. I have no idea what was going on with the hair cut (so bad) but the dress is cute. I look so young and innocent, wow how that has changed. I think 25 was a turning point in my life as I decided that I was going to go back to college and finish my degree because I had 2 little lives I was about to set and example for. Best decision ever, 20 years later both my young men are also college grads.
If I could go back in time I certainly would do some things different as a parent but moving forward I need to learn to stop being the helper enabler). I tend to always think about how can I make their lives easier and this often leads to frustration when I feel like I am not being appreciated. Which makes me ask myself do I need to feel appreciated, I guess so. This year I turn 50, oh my god I said it out loud, ha and someone once said if you expect nothing from others you will never be disappointed so for the second half of my journey I am going to continue to try and learn to appreciate and acknowledge myself and all that I am.
I was raised by a very smart, independent mother. Although her and my dad were married for 20 years and she was a stay at home mom before divorcing, she taught me life lessons that all woman should follow:
- Go to school, no one can take away your education
- My story- graduated with a bachelors in Computer Information
Systems at age 37
- My 4 year old and a 2 year old went to night classes with me
- Doesn’t matter how long it takes or how difficult keep at it
- No job is beneath you
- My story- starting out at 14 working in the fields topping corn
- I was 4 foot 2 and couldn’t reach the tassels but they found me a job
- I learned a valuable lesson that hard labor was NOT what I wanted to do in life
- Never depend on a partner for financial support
- My story- I have NEVER not had a job (or at times 2 or 3) that allowed me to pay my own bills
- Sometimes I didn’t know how I was going to eat and pay my bills so I worked at food places (figure it out)
- A partner (man or woman) should be a companion who helps in the process but you should not depend on anyone else to take care of you
- What if they leave, what you gonna do then?
- This ensures you are self-sufficient and self-aware
- If you need help don’t be too proud to ask for it
- Example: the Wic program provided milk for my young boys for a year at no cost
- Create a budget and use the envelope system (Dave Ramsey tells you how to do this today but my mom did this before Dave was born)
- My story- I have a spreadsheet that shows where every dollar of my money goes every payday
- A meal plan will save you hundreds of dollars because you actually plan your lunch and dinner rather than guessing every day what to eat and you shop for only those ingredients
- The meal plan we created when our boys were at home saved us over $400 a month in groceries
- Put money away for emergencies- it will happen and items do break even if it’s 10 a week, the dog will get sick and the car will need new tires
- Plan for fun- put money away to reward yourself for doing great- date night, movie, or even a pedicure, it doesn’t have to be big but budget for it then you’re not mad when there’s nothing left at the end of the month
- Don’t finance if at all possible and never lease
- My story- I am still a work in progress on this one
- We all know cars are not cheap and most of the time we can’t afford what we want to drive
- Never buy a new vehicle, always buy used so someone else pays the depreciation
- It is possible to find great used cars with low miles at a very discounted price and don’t be afraid to ask for a lower price
- Dealerships are in business to make money and they have some wiggle room regardless of what they tell you
- As a woman you need to do your research because salesmen think you are stupid (sorry but true) so when you go in with nada book values and fair market pricing they can’t help but talk to you differently
- My husband in 28 years has never bought any of our vehicles because I love the satisfaction of getting a good deal (he usually leaves when the money talk starts, and don’t be afraid to walk away)
- I have made up my own rule on this one, if you have to finance make double payments and try to pay the car off in 1 year or 2 at the most
- When you lease you are making rent payments essentially and never gaining ownership of anything and the interest charges would make you pass out if you knew what they are
- Make a vision board not resolutions
- My story- I cut out pictures, quotes, or anything else I want to accomplish each year
- These can be goals, wants, needs, anything really
- Post them on a bulletin board and be specific about what you want to achieve
- Put it in a place you see it everyday
- Mine is on the wall by the bed in my room
- This puts it out in the universe and helps it come to fruition
- Don’t believe it try it what do you have to lose
- I did this with my son’s house and his starter home was almost identical to the photo I had on my board
- If everything isn’t done at the end of the year that’s ok but I guarantee it will be more than you ever thought was possible without it
Make 2017 Great
My homeless tale begins with my son becoming acquainted with a couple who lived across the street from his house. They were renting one side of a duplex from the husbands mother and she lived in the other side. One day he was talking to them and the wife told him her mom, stepdad and brother and sister were moving in with them because they were homeless. Well it wasn’t a few weeks and the mother evicted everyone from the duplex including her son.
My son being the tender heart he is was like mom they have 2 teenagers and they are going to be living in the park can they just stay in my garage for a month until they get into a shelter? My husband was like hell no that is a huge liability and me being the softy said ok. The mom (we will call her Beth) the stepdad and two kids move into my sons garage.
The daughter and son find a new apartment to live in. So at this point I am thinking now why don’t they go live with them now? The mom hangs out on the patio all day not even looking for housing. I arrive one day to visit my son and Beth is making tbone steaks on the grill for breakfast, huh what? I can’t afford steak really…
My son asks and Beth tells him they get 600 in foodstamps, which my son calls and finds out they have put his address as their residence at which time he informs the dept they do not and that they have one week to vacate.
My son and I have a conversation and he gives them a deadline to move out (after 2 months) of no action on their part and no desire to do anything different. They on the day he tells them they have to be out move to a hotel and leave all kinds of crap in his garage thinking this is free storage or a trash dump. My son calls them, yes they have cell phones and tells them you have one week to get your crap out (still very nicely) of the garage with no response, so he donates the usable items to the Goodwill.
* Lesson learned you cannot help those who don’t want to help themselves.
* There are homeless people by choice
* This particular family now posts on every social networking site they can asking for free food and money.
* Be sure to consider who you try to help and from this point forward we will stick with volunteering…..
I know that this post might make some people mad, oh well be mad because I know for certain that if this was my family, my butt would be out everyday doing anything and everything I could do to get out of someone’s garage and I certainly would respect their kindness enough to leave it better than it was before I arrived..